Friday, July 31, 2009

Date Night: The Cure for What Ails You

I have a great marriage. I'm not bragging, I just do.

Both of us grew up with divorce and remarriage(s), we've had the good fortune of seeing the bad, and the very good, and have learned from our parents and step-parents about what it takes to make a marriage work. From the get-go we both felt like we would do whatever we had to do to keep our marriage intact. It has not always been smooth sailing, but the stormy seas have taught us to become skillful navigators.

It is crucial that we present a united front. I don't mean that we don't argue, because we have enthusiastic disputes quite often. But we have learned over the years that we're not going to see eye-to-eye about everything. On occasion, we've had to just agree to disagree and move on. (I love Michael J. Fox's take on marriage: "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty!")

One way that we've managed to strengthen our bond is by cultivating "date night." Sometimes it's the cliche of a romantic dinner, sometimes it's a cuppa-joe at "W-Awful House," sometimes it's a clandestine rendezvous on the front porch. The place is not important, the company is!

Last night's "date night" was actually a business meeting of sorts. But we were alone, together, and focused on a common goal. I would not use the word "romantic" to describe it, but it did serve the purpose of unity on a cerebral level.

I hear many of my peers complain about what their husbands don't do. I've learned to celebrate the things that my husband DOES do. I feel as though he and I are complete partners in marriage, parenthood and running our household. He is the other half of me, and I'm not going to get anywhere by putting myself down.

I couldn't quite put my finger on the thing that wasn't "right" with me this week. But "date night" turned out to be the cure for what was ailing me. I'm ready, bring it on!

Marriage is more than raising kids, more than paying bills, even more than having sex (although, that's one of the perks. . .) It's about edifying your partner, celebrating their successes and encouraging them through the tough times.

When you're feeling overwhelmed with motherhood, it's a good time to go back to the source (in this case, my Baby-Daddy) and reinforce your focus.

I'm not the only married woman who holds this opinion. Here's another take on the importance of working together with your spouse, written this week by my good friend at Momsweb:

Have fun!


  1. I Love Date Nights!!

    Its awesome of you to not let the rut of other marriages influence you. Looking at the positive of what your husband "does" (as you said) really speaks highly of you and your commitment to your marriage.

  2. Lara, this was really a wonderful post. It's amazing how great, despite "enthusiastic disputes", marriage can be when you really do work together. :-)

    Love and Hugs ~ Sandy