They Call Me "Mom"

"They call me Jane.
That's not my name.
That's not my name.
That's not my name.
That's not my name." - The Ting Tings


When you have toddlers screaming "Mooooooom!" all day long, you dream of the day when they will all be out of the house and you'll be free of the oft-screamed moniker.

I'm sorry to report that it doesn't quite go down that way.

Yesterday afternoon, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." Black Jack (21) was discount shopping with his fiancee. Did I need an HDMI cable?

"No, thank you son. I've got one already. . ."

"Loveyoubye!"

Five minutes later, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." It was Halfway Between (10&20) checking in from his friend's house. I asked him if he was coming home for dinner.

"What are we having?" I advised him it would be fend-for-yourself since Dad just gotten home from his root canal. "Nah. . .loveyoubye!"

Five minutes later, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." Black Jack wanted to know what we were having for dinner.

"It's fend-for-yourself tonight. . ." I replayed the root canal story.

"Oh, okay. Loveyoubye!"

Five minutes later, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." The Edge (of 17) was on break at work. What time was she going to be home?

"I'm closing. Ten-thirty. . .ish? Gotta go! Loveyoubye!"

Five minutes later, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." Black Jack had found Margarita Mix for only three bucks.

"Thanks, Sweetie, but hang on to your money. . .I'm fine, really. So, what are you doing?"

"I gotta go!"

"Why do you have to go?"

"I just hate it when you do that to me!"

"Do WHAT?"

"Nothing. . .I know what I mean." Well, that's good, at least one of us does! "Loveyoubye!"

Five minutes later, the phone rang. "Hey, Mom. . ." Halfway was leaving his friend's house and heading to the park. "Loveyoubye!"

I decided I was just going to turn my phone off. Five minutes later, 7th Heaven hollered from her room, "Hey, Moooooooom!"

I couldn't resist. I danced in and sang to her, "That's not my name. That's not my name. . ."

Have fun!